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Preparation for Marriage is thought of by many as a nuisance, or a hoop to jump through, in order to get the wedding you want. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you are in the process of planning your wedding the first response of the parish staff, the pastor, the bishop and the universal Church is: Congratulations!
Our response is always one of great hope and joy. This response is rooted in a basic attitude that gives the engaged couple every benefit of the doubt. "What doubt?" might be an appropriate question. The doubt that our culture may have conditioned you to think of a wedding as merely an expression of romance in a society that holds sex and marriage (in any order) as the only two courting rituals left! As mature, loving and intelligent people we should not assume this is the case. We should recognize, however, that this is not an un-common case in our culture.
So after our initial response of congratulatory joy, our first question we ask is, "What type of marriage are you entering into?" This is not a question designed to be nosy but to establish the wedding ceremony that would be most appropriate. A wedding marks the beginning of a marriage. Your wedding should mark the beginning of your marriage. In other words, a wedding in the Catholic Church, which is celebrated at Most Precious Blood, presumes that the celebration is the beginning of a Catholic marriage that (at least for the immediate future) is to be lived out here with the community at Most Precious Blood.
This is not an attempt to make your engagement difficult, but it does ask us, and you, to take your engagement seriously. It is our pledge to take seriously a couple's commitment to one another and to the concept of marriage. If a couple intends to live a secular marriage, or live their life in another faith, then they should declare that intention with integrity by celebrating their wedding accordingly. Celebrate your wedding in the same way in which you intend to live your marriage.
If you want a truly beautiful ceremony, speak to your parish as soon as possible. Even before you start asking everyone you know to be part of the celebration. Aside from the fact that in the Archdiocese of Denver there is a requirement that you contact your parish at least 8 months prior to the wedding celebration, your priest and your parish liturgist KNOW WEDDINGS. They can help you not to go down roads you will regret. You may wish you had not chosen to ask 40 people to be in your wedding party before you took into consideration the amount of space available! You may be planning something you "saw at another ceremony" that won't work with other things you've planned. It is always better to be well informed before you start asking people to "do things" at your ceremony. The help that you will receive upon contacting the parish will be more helpful the sooner you get it!
Your wedding and your marriage is sacred to us. It is our belief that you, your engagement, your wedding and your upcoming marriage have the right to be taken seriously. We assume that all are sacred to you. The ceremony should be not only beautiful, but a reflection of something holy and profound. If the couple does not share this conviction, they are not truly seeking the ritual which the Catholic Church has to offer.
Any wedding should reflect the heart of the couple getting married. A couple should not celebrate their wedding in the Church to appease family members or because they feel that the ceremony is "prettier" than what they have found elsewhere. Our ritual signifies the start of a Catholic Marriage. If this is not the couple's intention, their integrity should demand a different ritual. Without such integrity, there is little hope for the future of their relationship.
With this in mind, a couple should expect to complete the following steps when deciding to have a wedding at MPB:
Step 1: Setting up an Initial Appointment with the Liturgist.
The first step is for the couple to call the parish office (303.756.3083) and set up an appointment with Jeanie Englebert (ext 112). You can also contact her via email: jeanie@mpbdenver.org. A family member or friend should not do this--appointments will be accepted only when contact is made by the bride or groom to be. During this first meeting the course of marriage preparation will be explained in more detail, some initial paperwork is done, the FOCCUS inventory is administered, a date may be set, the church may be reserved, and the need for musicians may be determined. Also, at this time an appointment with the pastor is set up.
Step 2: Attending Classes with other Engaged Couples.
Most Precious Blood sponsors a Marriage Preparation Seminar for four Monday evenings in September and also in February. These sessions are mandatory. During these evening sessions married couples and members of the parish staff cover a variety of topics that include: family of origin issues, spirituality of marriage, marriage as a Sacrament, communication, sexuality and intimacy, and finances.
Step 3: Individual Preparation with a Mentor Couple.
A few sessions with a married mentor couple from the parish are set in order to discuss the results of the FOCCUS inventory as well as the individual challenges and strengths that the engaged couple may expect during their married life. These evenings are scheduled between the engaged couple and the mentor couple and usually take place at the mentor couple's home.
Step 4: Finalizing the Wedding Plans
For those couples who will be married at Most Precious Blood, they will need to finalize their wedding liturgy with the parish liturgist. This process includes choosing readings, selecting music, and making sure all of the details of the liturgy are taken care of.
In conclusion…as thorough as this process seems to be, remember that we are entrusted with preparing you not just for a ceremony but a Sacrament that begins a sacramental life together. Your wedding day is only the start. And so we say again, "Congratulations!" but also we say "We take you and your future seriously."
May God bless you in your time of love, preparation and celebration
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